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Letter I wrote to my sister, havent finished it or decided whether to give it to her or not.

Ashley,

It is very hard for me to write this letter. I do not want conflict, but I feel like I need to express my, emotions. I have picked up on how differently you treat me, at family gatherings its like you put on a front. You are most times kind and chat with me., where at other times when its just immediate family around, you seem to have an “I am ignoring you attitude.” I try so hard to be nice to you so that you will like and care about me. I feel like even for whatever reason that you dont like me is getting in the way of my relationship with lexi, and that is not fair! I would like the problem that you have with me brought to my attention so we can resolve it.

I have thought about it many times, the only thing I can come up with is the nasty things I said a few years ago. If you are holding a grudge because of this please give me a chance to show you that I am sorry for saying it. I know sorry does not take back the hurtful words, and I feel really bad about it. I hope you will  have found it in your heart to forgive me for that.

I really hope this letter does not make things more awkward between us. You really dont realize how much you hurt my feelings when I am around you, and I deserve it for the things I said in the past, but please if this is this issue or isnt, can we just resolve it??

I am trying so hard to understand so I can fix it, but I dont get it! I helped you move your things 2x, once out and once in. We seemed fine at the baby showers (maybe because everyone was around). I thought that everything was okay between us, they werent great but it was better than it is now. It was like all of a sudden I felt that you see me as “trash” or something.

Please write me back because I feel like this is the best way to communicate with each other. I dont want any of this to escalate into an argument because my niece doesnt need to see/hear any of it. So I hope you understand why I wrote a letter instead of talking in person. I have been holding it all back waiting for the right time, especially because of lexi. I dont want our relationship worse than it already is, so I’ve been scared to even say anything directly to you about it.

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